Rebuilding Body Image in ED Recovery
Recovery can be a scary and confusing process. Especially since you are breaking down a lot of the beliefs you’ve held onto for comfort, peace, control, etc. We find that body image is a major trigger for eating disorder behaviors in a lot of our clients. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Your body shape is not going to fluctuate hour by hour based on what you’re eating. For instance, if you wake up and feel okay about how you look, then eat breakfast and immediately begin to see your body differently, you are associating how your body looks directly with what you are eating. In reality, one meal is not going to make you gain 5 lbs in your thighs, arms, hips, etc. You are likely internalizing the guilt you feel about eating a specific food or meal and it is manifesting as body dysmorphia. Unfortunately, guilt and shame are a common part of the recovery process. As you learn to properly nourish your body, there will be moments of discomfort and that’s okay. It is important to remember that what you are eating (whether you deem it “good” or “bad”) is not going to affect your appearance. That’s not how the body works.
Your body will change in recovery. This is a really really hard thing to come to terms with. When we spend days, months, years, of our lives trying to prevent our bodies from changing, it will seem like the end of the world when a doctor, therapist or dietitian says, “You have to restore some of your body weight.” The good news? You will honestly begin to feel so much better physically and mentally. As you continue on your journey, the subtle changes in your body may. not bother you as much when compared with how difficult life was during the depths of your eating disorder.
What you look like does not define you or your worth. The world we live in is very heavily focused on cameras and photos. It can be difficult to separate yourself from the worry and stress that come with the heavily media-influenced lifestyles that diet culture can push onto us. Most people are not friends with you or married to you or enjoy working with you because you wear a certain size of jeans or still fit into a t-shirt from college. And if they are, we need to talk. You are loved and seen because of who you are and how you make those around you feel. Try to remember that people will remember your kindness and thoughtfulness, not what you looked like or ate or didn’t eat.
Recovery is less difficult when we stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to look a certain way. We realized that this is so much easier said than done, however, we can help you find a way to eat what you love and enjoy feeling freedom around food.
Written by Trinny Duncan, Student Intern and Peggy Pratt, PhD, RDN, LDN, CEDS-C