Comparison and Competition - Our Thoughts…
A person’s body image is heavily influenced by social media trends, peers, family members, performance, significant others, etc. It is no surprise that 20-40% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies and 10-30% of men show body dissatisfaction. Two really important components when looking at body image are comparison and competition.
Catch yourself in the comparison:
Are my thighs bigger than theirs?
Do we wear the same size jeans/tops?
Do I look bigger or smaller than them in this picture?
Do I have a six-pack like them?
My shorts don’t fit the same way theirs do.
I don’t look the way I did when I was in high school/college/in my 20s.
I am heavier than my mom/dad was at this age.
Catch yourself in the competition:
I should run/lift a little more than them so that I look better than them.
I should stop eating carbs so I can fit into a smaller size jeans.
I should keep checking my body each day to track my progress versus theirs.
I should keep tabs on if they look smaller than me or not.
I should monitor what they’re eating to make sure I am not eating more than them.
I should eat what I did in high school/college in order to look like I did then.
I should ask my mom/dad what he/she did to eat and exercise at my age and follow that.
There are so many other ways that we talk to ourselves subconsciously when falling down the comparison/competition hole. Recognizing when a disordered thought comes into our brains is half the battle. When you begin to recognize these thoughts, remember these things:
Remember in the comparison:
My body is designed completely differently from their body.
Clothing sizes vary from brand to brand and I am not supposed to be the same size as everyone else…that’s why different sizes exist!
Pictures are meant to capture memories, not sizes. If I don’t like the way I look in a photo, I will just save it to look at later down the road.
Muscle definition varies from person to person. As long as I feel strong, I am doing what my body needs.
Clothes are going to look/feel different on everyone. If I don’t like the way I feel in these, I should donate them and find something else. If I do like them, who cares if they fit differently on someone else?
My body is not supposed to look the same way it did when I was 16, 20, or 25. I am meant to grow and change as life moves forward. I am grateful for all that my body has done and will continue to do for me.
Even though my parents contribute to my DNA, I am not supposed to weigh/look exactly like them.
Remember in the competition:
Exercise is meant to be a way to keep my heart, lungs, and muscles healthy. It is not a way for me to shrink myself. If I exercise in this unhealthy way, I won’t enjoy it and will begin to dread doing it or avoid it altogether.
Cutting out food groups does not equal a smaller waist/thigh muscles/calf muscles. Cutting out food groups means slowing down my metabolism, missing key nutrients, and lower energy.
If I am dissatisfied with how I look, that’s what I will continually see in the mirror. I should work on thinking about what my body does for me and only using a mirror when I need it.
Obsessing over how someone else’s body is not a good use of my time. Instead of constantly looking at another person’s body, I should look into new recipes to try or new home decor trends I want to buy.
I should eat what will satisfy me and not worry about what others are or are not eating. I don’t know how much they’ve exercised, what else they’ve eaten, or how their body processes food, so there is no point in trying to compare all of that information to my own. I know what I need to feel my best, and that’s all that matters.
What my body needed when I was 16, 20, or 25 is completely different than what I need now. I should not try to eat the same things because that is not what my body needs in this season.
My mom/dad had a completely different life and a completely different body. What they did then is not going to work for me now.
It is much easier to write these things down than it is to think about them in the moment. However, as you keep coming back to the productive thoughts, you will program your brain to turn that way instead of to the negative. Unfortunately, it takes a lot longer to learn to think logically than it does to think negatively. If you are struggling with your body image, please reach out to us! We are here to help you find a balance between nourishing your body and your mind.
Written by Trinny Duncan, Student Intern and Peggy Pratt, PhD, RDN, LDN, CEDS-C
Quittkat, H. L., Hartmann, A. S., Düsing, R., Buhlmann, U., & Vocks, S. (2019). Body dissatisfaction, importance of appearance, and body appreciation in men and women over the lifespan. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10(864). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00864